Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children.

Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique.

• Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.”
• Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.”
• Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?”
• Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.”
• Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?”
• Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?”
• Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?”
• Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is different. The announcement, the baby shower, the experience, is different.”

Yet…

• Infertility, like all pain, is seen by God.
• Infertility, like all pain, is best cared for in a loving community.
• Infertility, like all pain, can be that place where we meet God.

Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children.

Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique.

• Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.”
• Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.”
• Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?”
• Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.”
• Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?”
• Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?”
• Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?”
• Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is different. The announcement, the baby shower, the experience, is different.”

Yet…

• Infertility, like all pain, is seen by God.
• Infertility, like all pain, is best cared for in a loving community.
• Infertility, like all pain, can be that place where we meet God.

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction.

• Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes.
• Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be:
  • “I need your attention.”
  • “Do you love me?”
  • “I am embarrassed.”
  • “I feel guilty.”
• Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel.
• Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in the process of being formed.
• Remember they are working out who they are – their identity. They are gaining ownership of their own values and beliefs.
• Remember there are battles not worth fighting. Choose those battles that are central to your family’s values. Make big deals out of big deals and make small deals out of small deals.
• Remember “the lecture” has never been effective.
• Remember to share your views, faith and passion through conversations your teens will want to join. In this way we walk side-by-side and are not always nose-to-nose.

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction.

• Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes.
• Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be:
  • “I need your attention.”
  • “Do you love me?”
  • “I am embarrassed.”
  • “I feel guilty.”
• Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel.
• Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in the process of being formed.
• Remember they are working out who they are – their identity. They are gaining ownership of their own values and beliefs.
• Remember there are battles not worth fighting. Choose those battles that are central to your family’s values. Make big deals out of big deals and make small deals out of small deals.
• Remember “the lecture” has never been effective.
• Remember to share your views, faith and passion through conversations your teens will want to join. In this way we walk side-by-side and are not always nose-to-nose.

Shaming our kids - good intentions, yet with unintended poor consequences. We’ve all done it. Parenting out of exasperation. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Brian Sutter take a careful look at the messages we are sending our kids. Fortunately, a very healthy and redemptive future is possible.

When the last of the children leave the home, couples enter the “empty nest” phase of marriage. For some, this moment is met with welcome anticipation. For others trepidation. But for all, the moment marks a transition. All transitions require a certain level of relational care. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser and Kaleb Beyer speak into the care needed to thrive in this transition.

There are a few things that prove helpful to understand when entering the empty nest phase of marriage:

• Understand empty nesting begins by way of a transition. Transitions move us from an old normal to a new normal. By nature, transitions can be disorienting. But with time and effort, a satisfying new normal can be achieved.
• Understand the transition that needs to happen will circle closely to the change in roles that must transpire. Such a shift in roles may very well require a grieving of a past role and an acceptance of a new one.
• Understand the role-shift experience will be felt differently from one spouse to another. For example, a wife who found her identity in rearing the children will undergo a larger shift than a husband who defines his identity apart from the children.
• Understand empty nesting may affect the way couples connect. Connection can be understood by three criterions: availability, responsiveness, and engagement.
• Understand flexibility will be key to thriving. Learning to share your family and your time will go a long way toward being able to find contentment and joy in the empty nest phase of marriage.

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting.

Six Signposts:

1. Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set.
2. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse.
3. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important.
4. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand the nature of addiction. Such understanding will help them understand the betraying spouse and why they do the things they do.
5. Healthy boundaries: Boundaries protect. Spouses help protect the other by establishing boundaries. By way of boundaries, both safety and trust is built.
6. Forgiveness: Following Christ’s example, couples extend the grace each needs to move forward.

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting.

Six Signposts:

1. 1. Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set.
   2. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse.
   3. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important.
   4. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand the nature of addiction. Such understanding will help them understand the betraying spouse and why they do the things they do.
   5. Healthy boundaries: Boundaries protect. Spouses help protect the other by establishing boundaries. By way of boundaries, both safety and trust is built.
   6. Forgiveness: Following Christ’s example, couples extend the grace each needs to move forward.

Believers care about calling. Is God calling me to this assignment? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller (Missionary Care Director) helps us see calling as more than the assignment. She gives 5 suggestions for understanding what it means to be called.

Five important perspectives on following God’s call:

1. There is purpose in the process of working out one’s calling.

God is not only interested in the final assignment. He wants to use the process of discernment to grow us.

2. We are sent after the pattern of Christ’s sending.

“As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.” John 20:21

3. Calling has much to do with who we are.

We are called into being. Be a royal priesthood the Scriptures say.

4. Calling is more than an assignment.

Calling should not be compartmentalized. Instead, our work, home and church lives flow out of one calling.

5. Calling is confirmed in community.

Fellow believers help us determine if God is calling us to certain assignments.

amiller@harvestcall.org

Learn and Discern Groups: www.harvestcall.org/learn-discern