Music and verse capture, preserve, and allows the participant to access deep truths with a melody that matches the beauty, mystery and hope of the message. This is what we have in Christmas hymnody. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Katie Miller, Arlan Miller, Isaac Funk, Shauna Streitmatter and Matt Kaufmann share their favorite Christmas lyrics that capture the wonder of Christmas – God with us.

Show notes:

Arlan:

O Little Town of Bethlehem by Phillips Brooks

The hopes and fears of all the years

are met in thee tonight.

Isaac:

In the Bleak Midwinter by Christina Rossetti,

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,

Cherubim and Seraphim thronged the air;

but His Mother only, in Her maiden bliss

Worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

Shauna:

O Holy Night, by Placide Cappeau

The King of kings lay once in lowly manger,

In all our trials born to be our friend;

He knows our need,

To our weakness is no stranger.

Behold your king.

Katie:

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day by Henry W. Longfellow

In despair I bowed my head

“There is no peace on Earth,” I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men

…

Then rang the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead, nor doth He sleep”

Matt:

Angels, From the Realms of Glory by James Montgomery

Justice now revokes the sentence,

Mercy calls you, break your chains.

Parenting our children through the highs and lows of our technological world can be a challenge. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Jon Moser provides us with four helps. He gives us one technology lesson to instruct our children in. He gives us one technology danger to protect our children from. He provides one issue that we should be able to engage our children about and he gives us one redeeming quality that technology offers our kids.

Show Notes:

Instructive: 

·        Help your kids understand how social media algorithms work to populate their feeds. Help them understand the goals of the social media platform.

Protective:  

·        Protect your family’s privacy. Encourage the use of privacy settings on social media platforms. Have a conversation about contact lists and who should be allowed into them. Consider using a VPN to protect against malware infection.

·        Example: protonvpn.com

Engaging:  

·        Engage with your children about technology use. Have a discussion about using technology well. Learn to identify when technology is controlling us. Learn to detach from technology and connect with the real world.

Redeeming:  

·        Technology can be used well. When we are better able to redeem our time because of the convenience of technology, we are using it well. Connecting loved ones across distances offers wonderful advantages.

With all the voices speaking into our teenage girls today, let’s be sure ours is one. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Katie Miller turn up the volume on 3 critical ideas from which our teenage girls would benefit. And it’s no surprise, God very much wants to speak into these important matters.

Show notes:

 Three things teen girls should know:

1.       Learn the sound of your inner voice.

·        Learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy self-talk.

·        Learn to tune out unhealthy self-talk.

2.       Learn to see your identity through God’s eyes.

·        Learn the difference between identities that come to us from this world and those that come to us from God.

·        Learn to tune in to who God has created you to be.

3.       Learn to see yourself as an image-bearer of God.

·        Learn to detect where your self-image is coming from.

·        Learn that your value and worth come from God.

Resources

https://accounseling.org/spiritualgrowth/women/young-women-support/

JJ Heller song 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that "makes all things beautiful in his time.” This truth is curious. It would seem that God has an intention beyond making things right. Or making things work. Or making things whole. He intends more than those...He intends to make things beautiful. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk and Shauna Streitmatter help us understand beauty and faith. When our senses are exercised to detect beauty, we will live a bit more as we were created to live.

Show notes:

Beauty is beautiful:

·        Beauty is an intention of God. He creates things beautiful.

·        God sets the standard for beauty. Our senses can be exercised to better detect it.

·        Anywhere that beauty exists can be a place for worship of God.

·        Beauty is detected in our senses. We find art, music, flavors, textures and fragrances pleasing to our senses.

·        We detect beauty in our thoughts.  We find story and lyric appealing.

·        We must linger with beauty to appreciate it. It slows us down.

·        Beauty transcends usefulness. Not making life possible but making life worth living.

·        God is beautiful. Redemption is beautiful. Resurrection is beautiful.

When it comes to having difficult conversations, many of us are avoidant. Unfortunately, this passivity is not helpful in the long run. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller helps us sort out the mindset and the skillset of stepping into these difficult conversations.

 Show notes:

When might a difficult conversation be necessary?

·        Difficult conversations might be necessary when silence on issues that concern us and others are leading to increasingly unhealthy ends.

What goals should I have?

·        Goals for the outcome of a difficult conversation should not merely be influencing others on our behalf. Rather, healthy relationships and shared understanding should be objectives.

What preparation should I do?

·        Prayerfully self-reflect. Understand the “story” you are making and develop a curiosity for the “story” other people have. As much as you can, make a safe place for dialogue.

What skills should I bring to bear?

·        Attempt to be thoughtfully direct. Correct with objectivity and encourage with genuine authenticity. Be a curious listener and strive to remain on topic.

Personal change can be so hard sometimes. We want to think differently and act differently. But we don’t. In this episode of Breaking Bread, three guests weigh in on the matter - a pastor, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. Together, Jeff Waibel, Ted Witzig Jr. and Aaron Plattner explore the landscape of people change and provide hope that it is possible.

Personal change can be so hard sometimes. We want to think differently and act differently. But we don’t. In this episode of Breaking Bread, three guests weigh in on the matter - a pastor, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. Together, Jeff Waibel, Ted Witzig Jr. and Aaron Plattner explore the landscape of people change and provide hope that it is possible.

On divisive cultural topics like gender identity, sometimes we miss each other. Talking past each other. Unable to relate or understand with one another. To help with this understanding, Brian Sutter presents three lenses that capture three different “starting points” for the persuasions we hold.

Show Notes:

Mark Yarhouse in his book "Understanding Gender Dysphoria” presents three lenses through which we view the gender identity debate. By understanding these lenses, we will understand our persuasions and the persuasions of others better.

Integrity Lens: “There is right and wrong in the world.”

·       Intent – The view of gender being created by God as either male or female.

·       Strength – This lens focuses on identifying what scripture says and holding closely to it. It fights for truth, right belief, and holy living by proclaiming truth even when it is contrary to culture.

·       Weakness – This lens can be cold, unloving, and judgmental. It can forget that sincere individuals can struggle with these issues. It can reinforce incorrect stereotypes about the Christian church.

Disability Lens: “There are reasons for why we see brokenness in the world.”

·       Intent – This lens intends to be compassionate, understanding that all of life is touched by the fall and that human beings experience brokenness in all areas of life - including their gender.

·       Strength – This lens views individuals dealing with gender dysphoria with love and compassion. It seeks to provide information, support, counseling to help people work through gender dysphoria issues.

·       Weakness – This lens can overly identify the person dealing with gender dysphoria by their struggle. It can accidently view the individual’s life as ‘on hold’ until the individual is “cured.”

Diversity Lens: “God is love.”

·       Intent – This lens intends to understand and celebrate the uniqueness of each person while providing them with acceptance and community.

·       Strength – This lens recognizes the value of all people regardless of whether gender dysphoria is a lived experience. It doesn’t force people into molds. It desires each person to be included and loved in a caring community.

·       Weakness – This lens may elevate gender dysphoria to be the most important part of a person’s identity. It may overlook unbiblical lifestyles and may not see a need for conforming to the teachings of the Bible.

Each lens has strengths and weaknesses. We each need to understand the lens we view gender dysphoria through, mitigate its weakness and adopt the strengths in the other lenses.

Today we are thinking more deeply about gender -maleness and femaleness. To help, Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling share their insights on this important matter. In this episode of Breaking Bread, we discuss biological sex and its outward expression in our gender.

Show notes:

Terminology is important. The words we use make a difference. Further, the meaning of the terms we use change. It is important we are informed on the definition of terms.

• Biological sex – The binary sex determination that occurs genetically and is coded by chromosomes. Those who have XX pairing are female and those who have XY pairing are male.
• Gender identity – How a person categorizes their felt gender experience.
• Gender dysphoria – The distress a person experiences when their felt gender identity does not match their biological sex assignment.
• Gender expression – How a person lives out their gender assignment.
• Gender roles – Expected rules, roles and experiences that we assume on being male or female.

We live in a changing world. Yet, some things remain the same. What is new to the scene and what is not?

• Gender dysphoria is not new to the scene. Distress over the felt gender experience has been around for a long time.
• Varying gender expressions is not new. Men and women have lived out their respective gender in a wide spectrum of ways.
• Today the meaning we make of our gender expression is taking on new conclusions. With increasing freedom, individuals are reflecting on their gender expression and drawing conclusions on their gender identity outside of the assigned biological sex assigned at birth.

• Culture today is straying from a biblical understanding of gender assignment. Today, many people view gender identity as not being constrained to the binary male or female as it has been in the past. Due to this, here is more emphasis on freedom of gender choice. Gender in today's culture is often understood to be on a spectrum.

How can we understand the varied gender experience?

• There is not a spectrum of gender assignment; however, there is a spectrum for gender expression. God created each person male or female, yet how we live out that gender varies.
• There are common experiences held by most men. There are common experiences held by most women. However, no two person’s gender experience is alike. Rather, we each have a unique gender expression that can glorify God’s biological sex assignment.

How can we help ease the gender dysphoria some experience?

• Some gender roles come from biological differences between male and female. Others are constructed and maintained by culture. It is important that we are thoughtful about what it means to be a man or a woman. We should be slow to calling into question those who don’t fit gender stereotypes that are not sacred to the biological sex.

Parenting our children through the highs and lows of our technological world can be a challenge. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling provides us with four helps. He gives us one technology lesson to instruct our children in. He gives us one technology danger to protect our children from. He provides one issue that we should be able to engage our children about and he gives us one redeeming quality that technology offers our kids.

Show Notes:

Instructive:

• Help your kids understand that if you do not pay for the product, then you are the product. Every free app we use is earning money off of the user somehow. Often it is by advertisements.

Protective:

• Sextortion is a growing concern. Young people are often targeted. A predator engages with them in a seemingly innocent way at first. This could be through direct messaging or otherwise. They lure the victim into taking a picture or video of themselves that they would not want the public to see. The predator then uses the image or video to blackmail the victim; threatening to send the content to friends, for example. If young people are being exploited, they are the victim of a crime, and it should be reported. Contact your local FBI field office, call 1-800-CALL-FBI, or report it online at fbi.gov.

Engaging:

• Parents need to nurture the relationship they have with their children so that openness can be achieved. Open dialogue on technology issues should be the goal. Children and young people should feel free to openly discuss technological struggles, challenges and questions with trusted adults.

Redeeming:

• Technology shows us how much we desire connection. Use this apparent fact to show your kids that connection with God is the connection our souls most crave.

Cognitive behavior therapy and EMDR are helpful tools in the clinical toolbox for treating complex trauma. In this audio recording, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter provide some wherewithal to what these are and other methods.

God asks us to participate in the life-giving care of people. Untangling the web trauma spins for those who have complex PTSD is one of those rewarding opportunities. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter take the discussion of complex trauma to the next level. They help us see what help looks like and gives us all a role to play.

Show notes:

Help for those with complex trauma can be understood in three phases:

• Phase 1: Safety and Stabilization
  • Stabilize the victim and ensure their safety. Receive them on an emotional level. Help create for them a new safe experience that will over time help them construct a healthy meaning of their world.
• Phase 2: Processing Trauma
  • Professionals in this phase can help create healthy meaning to old memories.
• Phase 3: Meaning Making and Reconnecting
  • Help a victim engage in the world in a healthy way. Their difficult past does not bind them; rather it equips and provides value to their present.

Sometimes PTSD cannot be traced back to a single event. Rather, for a person with a web of traumatic events in their past and present, PTSD is a state of “normal”. It is the air they breathe. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter teach us what complex PTSD is. For those who want to live well with people, it is a concept that is good for us to understand.

Show notes:

Definition: Some people experience layers of trauma. Trauma on top of trauma produces an unhealthy stress whose root is not easy to isolate. In fact, a singular root does not exist. This is understood to be complex trauma.

Sources: Complex trauma results from living conditions where safety is repeatedly jeopardized.

Results: Complex trauma undermines a person’s sense of present safety. Traumatic living norms have produced in victims a skewed perception of others and themselves. Often relationships pay a heavy price among those who have experienced complex trauma.

God asks us to participate in the work of the Spirit in the lives of others.  “Go ye therefore and make disciples,” Jesus said. The local church just might be ground zero for this important work. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann outline 5 essentials for the community that will disciple.

Below are five essentials for the community that will disciple:

“Here I am.”
Discipleship happens in a location. The community that disciples practices being present with people.

“I am here.”
Discipleship happens in communities where there is stability. The community that disciples is committed to each other.

“I take you.”
Discipleship requires vulnerability. The community that disciples receives one other.

“Follow me as I follow Christ.”
Discipleship is an active practice. The community that disciples is intentional.

“I’ll walk with you.”
Discipleship is a slow process that requires patience. The community that disciples is fueled by hope in Christ.

God has knit into our frame the capacity to have dominion. At some level, it comes from being an image bearer of his. Yet, it comes as no surprise, that after the fall, our capacity to have dominion has been bent. For the worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer address the tendency we have towards taking unhealthy control of situations. Wonderfully, letting go of control is possible, and who teaches it better than the Lord of Lords and King of Kings ~ Jesus.

Show notes:

I might have an unhealthy relationship with control if:

• I have an excessive need to be in-charge.
• I am slow to give responsibility to others.
• I am irritated when my plans are not followed.
• I ignore the boundaries of others.
• I don’t trust others.
• I think too highly of my opinions.
• I am impatient with others.
• I work better alone than with people.

My desire for control might be fueled by the following reasons:

• Insecurity – my grasping for control soothes the discomfort I have in myself.
• Identity – my grasping for control is an effort to prove myself.
• Fear – my grasping for control protects me from disorder and disaster.
• Pride – My grasping for control assumes I know better than others.

Even though he is the King of Kings, letting go of control is inspired by and exampled by Jesus:

• He let go of his control to become a baby.
• He let go of his control to be obedient to his parents.
• He let go of his control to be tempted by Satan.
• He let go of his control to be tried before magistrates.
• He let go of his control to be killed on a cross.

By letting go of control, Jesus secured his Lordship.

“I lay down my life, that I might take it again.” John 10:17

Spiritual disciplines are often associated with the monastic life. This can be both helpful and unhelpful. Historian Fred Witzig, with the help of Isaac Funk, helps sort out the good from the bad as it regards practicing these disciplines. In the end, Fred and Isaac help cast an encouraging vision for practicing spiritual disciplines.

The practiced pianist, athlete, and mathematician share the commonality of making hard things look easy by way of practice. The same is true for the practicing Christian. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk and Fred Witzig help us understand what spiritual disciplines are and how they are helpful means to the end that we might be more like Christ.

Life is full of unpleasantness. With the unpleasantness we can’t change, we will need to endure through it. The skill of enduring this unpleasantness is patience. It is no wonder that patience is exhorted in Scripture. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel highlights this fruit of the Spirit and gives us some keys on how to be more patient.

Show notes:

• Patience is being emotionally regulated while at the same time enduring unpleasantness.
• Patience is not necessarily marked by deactivation and calmness. Rather, it is actively engaging our emotional realities during these times of unpleasantness.
• Very often, our unhealthy emotional reactions to unpleasantness have less to do with the irritant we chafe against and more to do with our internal world.
  • For example, a father may lose patience with his young son not because the son was disobedient but rather the father feels that the disobedience confirms that he is a bad father. The lack of patience with his son comes from internal unpleasantness.
• Patience burns the fuel of hope. People who are patient can find hope beyond their unpleasant circumstances. It is this hope, realized by faith that puts Christians at the advantage, for living patient lives.

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ’s.

Show notes:

Definition: Our “playbook” is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction.

Importance: Our “playbook” is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening.

How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions.

How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its “plays” are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences.

Reality: Our intuitive “playbook” is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong.

The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation.

Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better.

1. Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations.

• • Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from?

2. Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think.

• • Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors.

3. Conform your playbook to Christ –We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard.

• • Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ.

Further Information

All Nations Bible Study (acbookstore.org)
This Bible Study is designed to promote understanding of diverse people and perspectives. This content in this study may challenge your preconceptions. We encourage you to take this experience to the Lord and his Word.

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ’s.

Show notes:

Definition: Our “playbook” is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction.

Importance: Our “playbook” is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening.

How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions.

How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its “plays” are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences.

Reality: Our intuitive “playbook” is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong.

The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation.

Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better.

1.       Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations.

·        Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from?

2.       Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think.

·        Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors.

3.       Conform your playbook to Christ – We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard.

·        Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ. 

Resources for website: Learn more about nurturing cross-cultural relationship with the All Nations Bible Study (acbookstore.org)

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ’s.

Show notes:

Definition: Our “playbook” is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction.

Importance: Our “playbook” is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening.

How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions.

How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its “plays” are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences.

Reality: Our intuitive “playbook” is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong.

The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation.

Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better.

1.       Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations.

·        Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from?

2.       Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think.

·        Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors.

3.       Conform your playbook to Christ – We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard.

·        Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ.

Tragedy comes to us unannounced. It is a shock in the human experience. The new and unwanted reality has a way of troubling us to the core. Yet hope can emerge if a community is present to care for the troubled. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. speaks to those in the caring community. There are some things to know about support in times of crisis that will prove helpful to the troubled.

Show notes:

Definition of tragedy: Tragedy is a sudden, shock inducing experience that launches us into a place crisis.

Examples of tragedy: Natural disaster, unexpected loss, robbery, assault, accident

Effects of tragedy: Tragedy undermines safety, security and the sense of control. It has a shocking effect in the human experience. Emotionally, tragedy causes grief, sadness, anxiety, and anger. Spiritually, tragedy can surface troubling questions of “why?”.

Community Role in tragedy: Provide support and care for the troubled both in the short term and long term. To do this well, we must be aware of which phase the crisis is in and attempt to match support to the phase.

• Phase 1: Troubled individuals need “safety and stability.”
  • Examples of phase 1 support to provide: practical helps, meals, childcare, lodging,                 reconstruction, prayers.
• Phase 2: Troubled individuals need to heal through “remembering and mourning.”
  • Examples of phase 2 support to provide:  personal presence, sitting with difficult              emotions, listening to the grieving, prayers.
• Phase 3: Troubled individuals need to find “new purpose and new meaning.”
  • Examples of phase 3 support to provide: encouragement, purpose, reception into new normal, supporting people through disillusionment, prayers.

Tips for the helping community:

·   Pace yourself. Victims of crisis need support now, but also down the road.

·   It’s okay if you don’t know what to do or say. Victims of crisis care less about you having answers and more about your commitment to walk with them.

·  Be patient. Often, helpers make the mistake of wanting to see those in painful places move forward more quickly than they often do.

·  Understand your role and relationship to the victim of tragedy. Provide support consistent with that role.

·  Be slow to evaluate “how the grieving person is doing.”

·  Learn to observe the emotion the hurting person is experiencing and respond to it empathetically.

Tragedy gives the believing community the unique opportunity to act as the family of God.  We pray more. We are more thoughtful about what is important in life, and we get to display Christ to the world.