When the last of the children leave the home, couples enter the “empty nest” phase of marriage. For some, this moment is met with welcome anticipation. For others trepidation. But for all, the moment marks a transition. All transitions require a certain level of relational care. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser and Kaleb Beyer speak into the care needed to thrive in this transition.

There are a few things that prove helpful to understand when entering the empty nest phase of marriage:

• Understand empty nesting begins by way of a transition. Transitions move us from an old normal to a new normal. By nature, transitions can be disorienting. But with time and effort, a satisfying new normal can be achieved.
• Understand the transition that needs to happen will circle closely to the change in roles that must transpire. Such a shift in roles may very well require a grieving of a past role and an acceptance of a new one.
• Understand the role-shift experience will be felt differently from one spouse to another. For example, a wife who found her identity in rearing the children will undergo a larger shift than a husband who defines his identity apart from the children.
• Understand empty nesting may affect the way couples connect. Connection can be understood by three criterions: availability, responsiveness, and engagement.
• Understand flexibility will be key to thriving. Learning to share your family and your time will go a long way toward being able to find contentment and joy in the empty nest phase of marriage.

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting.

Six Signposts:

1. Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set.
2. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse.
3. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important.
4. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand the nature of addiction. Such understanding will help them understand the betraying spouse and why they do the things they do.
5. Healthy boundaries: Boundaries protect. Spouses help protect the other by establishing boundaries. By way of boundaries, both safety and trust is built.
6. Forgiveness: Following Christ’s example, couples extend the grace each needs to move forward.